The Magic Minute Episode 6: We Got The Funk

You feeling the fall funk, cold weather blues, getting-dark-early depression a little more than usual?  Most of us have been taught our whole lives that only happy feelings are acceptable, and the sad or “downer” feelings are not.

But, we ALL have ALL the feelings. And ALL feelings hold critical information and opportunity for growth. So what can we do? Embrace the funk. Cue the George Clinton song…

Like Kaylee talked about in today’s Magic Minute:

Step 1. Identify the feeling and be specific. If you’re feeling “down”, notice what’s different about this emotion vs. other feelings, recognize all of the nuances. Notice where the feelings are in your body– like when I’m anxious, I feel a lock in my throat and my palms get sweaty.

Check out this feelings wheel. It’s a great way to help you play “Name That Feeling!” Alex Trebek may not be there, but you can be Vanna if you wanna.

Step 2. Radically accept the feelings. Yes, be RADICAL about it! You don’t have to like or enjoy them, but try not to judge them. Notice the automatic desire to distinguish the feeling(s) as either “good” or “bad” and try to make some room for the shades of gray (cue the 50 shades joke.) Remember, YOU are not the feeling. A feeling is a fleeting experience that will come and go, it does not define you. That’s why I try to say “I feel” instead of “I am” when describing my emotions, so “I feel angry”, not “I am angry”.

Step 3. Find a safe space to sit with the feeling(s). You thinking, huh? Here are some ideas.  

  • Cry or let yourself sob
  • Meditate
  • Write a long drawn out angry letter expressing everything (and never send it)  
  • Journal every thought and feeling that’s popping up, don’t lift your pen from the paper
  • Call a loved one and vent
  • Put on your fave emo song (maybe it’s old school, but I still love Alanis)
  • Do some eyes closed yoga or see a yoga therapist
  • Go into a private space alone and sit with your feelings (or scream… whatever comes most naturally :) )
  • Call a therapist
  • See an acupuncturist

** Carolyn mentioned how much acupuncture and herbs helped her in our video. If you’re interested, our favorites are:

As you allow the feeling(s) to be present, notice any thoughts, memories or images that come up. Often after we “feel the feels”, we gain insight into some of the root causes. Working with a professional to help you make sense of these insights can often be helpful. Hopefully, you’ll notice feeling it wasn’t nearly as scary or formidable as you originally imagined.

Although this is a practice to stop controlling our feelings so much, this is also a practice in learning how to better manage and respond to our feelings. By allowing ourselves to fully embrace our feelings, it gives us some space and time to figure out what’s really happening internally, so we can RESPOND to life’s ever changing sitcoms from a place of knowing, instead of from a place of ignorance and fear.  

*Please note, if you're struggling with your feelings more often than not, and/or notice it's significantly impacting your life, we suggest reaching out for a professional assessment from a licensed mental health professional, such as a psychotherapist like Kaylee and/or a psychiatrist in your area.